K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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