I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
