Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just invented taco cereal.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
