I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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