I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish you could order shots online.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
