i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
