Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
