A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize