So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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