i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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