Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
