I'm pants shitting drunk right now
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
