is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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