So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize