He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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