..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
