sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
