Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
