there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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