i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
...so i touched it.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
