so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
