Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize