I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
