winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
