Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
