I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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