porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
