I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
