There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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