we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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