um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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