Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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