so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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