When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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