I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
