He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
