are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you didnt know i had herpes?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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