capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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