I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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