I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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