In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize