Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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