Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dear god my vagina.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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