After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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