i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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