i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
