I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
