I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
