In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
