the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
