just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
