HIV tests are more positive than that guy
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
