I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
