dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
