i jhust puked up my retainher.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Someone signed my nipple.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
