tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
