And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
