physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you would pick up someone in the library
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
