I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
