he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
